Minimalism: From The Minimalist in Me to You.

These days I have more nerve rAcking days than I ever prepared for. A lot of self discovery, self awareness, self appraisal (all things self), basically a whole lot of truth telling and I’ll try to share ….minimally

I recently read something on minimalism and it inspired this post. It spoke to me in so many ways than many and I couldn’t help the rush of thoughts and honest personal confrontations I had with myself. Minimalism simply means having the nature of simplicity. It encompasses achieving set goals following moderate ideas and plans. The question I have now is can a minimalist like me dream big?

I’m in love with a lot of things, too many that it’s a challenge to give one thing 100% attention at a time. Another question then is does minimalism allow one to be ambitious?

I want to do everything I can to keep busy, so there are times when I work myself out such that when I take a break it feels like it should last forever. Of course you know already that it doesn’t so I wonder if I am really finding a balance?

I am not such a great planner but I love how things pan out nicely after such hard work and uncertainty, but when it goes bad, it goes really bad and I try to imagine if life can be fun enough if we take off the element of surprise that spontaneity brings. Hmmm, I love surprises…pleasant surprises.

I must confess to you and me that I don’t like stress, although some people still think otherwise . Having said that, in my defence not every one that  wakes up at 4:30am, meditates, hits the gym, eats right, works tirelessly,  gets  home on schedule, reads a book daily, says their prayer daily and fasts regularly ……..you know all those great tips, is successful. The minimalist in me just wants to do less, own less, get less, care less, worry less, take less…shit I mean,  want less ….shit also and spend less.

I have seen that success is relative, it just depends on who you are, what you want and how much you can give or take just to have it. That simply means knowing what to focus on at every point in time. Me i want to focus on what I have and appreciate it more. Many of the things I don’t have but think will make me happy may never make me happy after all, so I am finding happiness in the “haves” than the “have-nots”.

Happy people are the successful people so everyday find happiness. Even in trying times, find happiness by starving the distractions and feeding your focus. They said success comes outside your comfort zone – very true! however don’t get to the end only to realize how empty and unhappy you are; and how much shit you have taken in exchange for all the missing good. While you are chasing your dream, remember It’s your dream, so own it, don’t let it own you, don’t let it control you. Imagine running behind your dog that is tied to a chain that you are holding. The dog is yours and so you know that you are in control by simply holding on and running along, not fighting by stopping to hate on other dogs or their owners. If that much little is the most you can do for the big dreams you have them do it happily.

Jim Rohn said “Simple things are easy to do, but they are also easy not to do.”

Life is about choices. The difference between the super rich and the rich is not just circumstances they faced but the simple choices they made.

The minimalist in me wants to Be in charge yet I fear that I am not doing as much for such big dreams. But guess what, Less is more, so I am holding onto less to create room for more. I can be more if i repeatedly make small good life choices. it all adds up. I want to be as content with less so I can qualify for more- more grace, more wisdom, more success.

In a world where minimalism seems to be underrated, every one is proposing giant ideas, pitching giant solutions and selling giant mandates, the minimalist in me is saying; Know thyself, Filter everything, Tell yourself the truth, Stick with the basics. Genuinely want what you desire and continue to desire what you deserve.

The minimalist in me thinks, We can all be ambitious, We can all dream big, also We should all be Minimalists because by practicing minimalism we can be more and still enjoy the balance.

20171007_130649.pngTill my next post,Stay happy.

Thank you as you share, like and subscribe.

Ije 💐

 

 

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International Youth Day Message. 

Have you ever had so much to say but can’t just talk. It’s like all in your head but just can’t find expression through speech or writing. This has been me lately but guess what? I am actually in high spirits

As a lifestyle blogger (still trying to accept that title), I sometimes feel like because my readers would want to know more about me, I should share everything here, but there is that thin line between getting real and keeping mute when it’s necessary. Basically knowing when to share and knowing not to overshare if you get what i mean?🙈🙈

Okay , well I have been in Abuja for a little over a week with my kids,  visiting my parents and it’s been fun with a full house. I have also been “upandan” town and I just keep imagining what I would do if I bumped into a blogger I know, but then again this town is so big that its seem like impossible. But i actually wouldn’t mind that happening 😊

Apart from the old memories this town brings back, it feels good for a change of weather for someone who lives in Jos. My skin however has tanned alot more and my mum won’t let me be over my skincare regimen. I currently use black soap and she thinks that is getting me darker. I use the Clinique 3 step cleanser, toner and moisturizer, that I supplement with my coconut oil and Shea butter,  because that money to be buying clinique can be used for something else. She thinks Shea and coconut oil are also co-culprits 😂😂😂

 

To make matters worse her friends who meet me for the first time will says something like this “Oh she looks like your other daughters only that this one is darker” and/or “Her kids are fair, her husband must be light skinned”? Me I am just there like 🙉🙉😭😭😭😔🙉🙉. Anyway she is on a hunt for soap and cream replacement for me…lets see how it goes..

 
I am in awe of how Abuja has grown so much in the past seven years, in population and everything else with so much opportunities for economic development for people with innovative ideas and ready to work but not everybody will live in Abuja. Same goes for Lagos and Portharcourt whom together with Abuja are considered the top economic cities in Nigeria. Not everyone has to live in any of these 3 cities to make money in Nigeria. 

I believe that where ever you are in this world you can make it, its just about the opportunities you go after and the value you are adding to people’s life in your little  space.  

I am particularly concerned lately for investors and business developers in Northern Nigeria,  in fact Nigeria in general since the clamour for a divided Nigeria has become the talk of the day. How is that even a perfect solution to the challenges of a 57-years old country? The uncertainty of the outcome of this clamour is very unhealthy for our progress as individuals and as a nation. 

Today is actually International Youth Day and the theme is “Youth Building Peace”. I find this a necessary coincidence and a call to Nigeria youths to rise up against this move of division that will brings us (youths) most harm if you ask me. 

Youths need to #StandUpForPeace because peace is our only guarantee to Progress and Positive Change. In the long run nothing survives war.

Let’s stop the war talk please. 

#HAPPYINTERNATIONALYOUTHDAY 💐

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in a nut shell

In a Nutshell ||A Recap for the Recap.

Sometimes, it’s okay to not have your moves all figured out, the best part of it however would be taking the first step, always along the way we find clues to continue. You need God to open the knob, but you must be at the door waiting to step into the next room or out of the hallway unto that big stage. It’s not enough that he opens the door if you are not willing.

As a newbie on the blogging scene, in the beginning I fiddled with my theme and blog appearance for a while. I would spend days trying to get the blog to look a certain way only to end up not liking it. Along the way, i went from being bothered about my blog stats  to realizing that it did not matter as much to me as focusing on creating content for my audience.  I stopped comparing my blog growth to someone else’s because it only dampened the zeal plus it did not help that new blogs were sprouting everyday so It meant that i may never be able to keep up with mine if i have my eyes all over. 

Focus became the watch word, but that too was not easy personally because of my many interests. Of the Many blogging tips out there, one that ranks the most is finding a niche for your blog and sticking with it. I am the type to get bored with that so “niching” was a no-no. I wanted to talk about anything and everything I felt like and could relate to, albeit at my own discretion. At times I would feel like people had certain expectations of me and the kind of posts I ought to publish based on my bio but i had to follow my heart lest I loose myself in trying to be who they expect. If the inspiration comes, i go with it, if it doesn’t I don’t.

It did not help that people were expecting me to be rolling in money after 3months of blogging when they would hardly visit the blog and share. But for those loyal readers and those who gave feedback openly and privately it was all worth it. If I touched only one person with my post, it was enough.

You can't give what you don't have, but it's almost impossible if you haven't nutured it even if… Click To Tweet

It was important that I continued to feed on the  things that inspired me and I knew I had to focus on me. I  started to worry less and work more.

Blogging is fun and I want it to stay fun. I love the new type of growth that it has afforded me. Every single post was fun to create. Oh! and that moment when you are about to hit publish button but end up reviewing 66 times before publishing..lol…the struggles though. More than 50 times I have hit the publish button regardless. They were not perfect posts, they did not need to be perfect, I just needed to keep pushing and watch me grow. 

Traveling back to Nigeria there was a whole lot of readjustment to do. Blogging has been a hassle hence i am beginning to feel a bit absent. I may have to now work on a schedule to keep me accountable. Lets just say I have  gained a new level of respect for independent creatives and entrepreneurs in Nigeria who have to put in a lot more to keep pushing and adding value. The sacrifices may never  level up with the returns in the beginning, it is the resilience that  pays off in the long run. At this point that pay off had better be happening soon for me ….lol.

Life in a Nutshell Click To Tweet

In a Nutshell

Understanding is key to growth. It is not as straight forward as knowledge. It takes answering life’s questions with questions.  Also important is that we must understand that somethings are beyond us to understand. Don’t force it. 

Victory is sweet even the littlest form of it. Look out for your little victories and rejoice in it. 

Work, work and work some more. Breaks are great because you can get tired, but you can’t afford to stop working and give up. Work for the sake of those little victories. They will add up with time.

X is always in the equation of life. This missing link you never figure out till you meet the best teacher – Experience. Don’t dwell on the mishaps and mistakes, carry on with life. You will understand it later

You are responsible for you. Life is all about you. Don’t live yours based on someone else’s judgement, circumstances or their absence thereof. People come, people go and People change, but makes you, you,  stays the same. Don’t try to change it for anyone. 

Zeal comes from God. You must approach life with so much zeal else everything will seem impossible. Every step is worth taking. Every dream is worth fighting for. 

Have a great week lovelies.

Ijeoma ....xoxo

You can’t give what you don’t have, but it’s almost impossible  if you haven’t nutured it even if you had it. Ecclesiastes 9:10

To get the full gist – Read up these two

In a Nutshell|| Recapping the last 6 months

In a Nutshell || Recapping the last 6month cont’d 

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lost friend

Dear Lost Friend 

When it comes to friendships, for me it’s more like a hit or miss situation. I meet a few people, luckily i connect with some and a bunch of those, i spend a greater part of the time learning to trust them. Along the way some good ones are lost and that’s totally fine.

Trust is so important but learning to trust people can be tough, and so it makes me remember the friendships I wish I still have going. Those people you may never speak to again but you know they will always be dear. 

The  friend whom, if you had to tell your story without them it will not only be  incomplete but also uninteresting. They’ve seen you through your lowest moments and just things began to pick up, you lose them to the woes of growing up. After the years of silence, deep down you know they still matter and having them back in your life won’t hurt nobody. 

Dear Lost Friend,

This is me expressing myself on the thoughts that i have had ever since i noticed the unexplainable silence that has gone from a few days to years. I wish I could have been in your life much longer.

I still remember that day we first met, it was such a delight to have one more person to introduce as friend. I can’t tell what formula it was but something about you made us work. Even though I am not particularly the friend-making-conversation-starter, it was easy with you.

We were great and in a short while it was “US” against the world. All we needed was a fine blend of laughter and hustle and everyday worked like magic.

I had a home in yours and you in mine. Your siblings were the elder ones i wish i had and it was great sharing and learning from them, with youOh! I still remember how your mummy’s jokes always cracks me up. How is she by the way?

I am an introverted extrovert but with you it was easy to be predominately extrovert – you still had to attend most parties without me shaa. It’s been this long and our paths have not crossed and from time to time I wonder what you’d be up to. How did we grow so apart in the blink of an eye?,  there I was thinking this was going to last forever.

Thanks to a connected world i get to see your Insta and Facebook updates occasionally, but the most i can do is hit the like button and hope you that you notice. Sometimes i spend a few minutes on your page in a bid to catch a glimpse of what the latest is with you – I hope some guy has finally been able to crack the code to your carefree but resolute heart.

I hope you are doing great things and actualizing all your dreams. As much as I wished to be there and celebrate with you as they come true, I am also always routing for you. It looks like we may never spend the same time together, or laugh over the same things  again. Even if we do it may never be the same – all though I wish.

If you ever read this – i hope you do, Just know that I am not upset with you for anything. I still have so much respect for you, I hope your new friends are great because you deserve the best.

If you are ever wondering about me, we are doing so well.  I have had a fair share of the ups and downs and I am happy today. I am on this purpose journey of life and I can’t say I am better off without you but I know that how far I have come this past few years have had nothing to do with your presence.

If we are ever to be “US” again, I do not know if it will be as special but i have not ruled out the possibility. There were no goodbyes or farewells, so i know its not the end. I only lost you and like all lost things you can be found, however unlike all lost things, you can’t be replaced.

Thank you for being real ❤

Your Former Padi

P.s – Just the other day i realized i still have that your wallet size picture in that my wallet.

You my awesome reader thanks for stopping by.

What are your thoughts on friendships and learning to trust ? Have you lost great friends to growing old? I’d like to know

SmartSelectImage_2017-07-21-16-34-04See you soon…

Ije......xoxo
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In a Nutshell || Recapping the last 6months cont’d

There is a quote that says “if you want God to open doors you best take your hands off the knob”. This is simply what is entails to let go and let God

As time went by early in the year I figured that all my disappointments were part of the real plan –  God’s plan. What I saw as a setback turned out to be a necessity. I had to let go of my expectations and live in the reality. Realizing that you have done your best and accepting the things you can’t change is actually part of the progress plan. Progress is relative, So is success too.

On Progress – If the people around you are making progress with their life and it seems you are not, don’t be hard on yourself. It is not because you are a failure,  its just the timing. Simply because they are your classmates or agemates does not mean they are your vision mates or dream mates. It took a special grace for me to understand this.

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Unlike me I had started to plan the year in December 2016 but I had to scrap that…..lol ….well not entirely. One thing was obvious though – that the music had changed and so must my dance step. It was obvious that things had moved on and it was up to me to remain where i was or get on board. The world cannot pause for one second for anyone to catch up, so it will be in your interest to keep up with life rather than make excuses for why you did not make yours count. I had no choice.

life of impact, get a new perspective

On Finding peace – I gained a new perspective. In those times all I would do is try to understand  the good about the situation instead of cry over spilled milk. And each time, I found something – a reason, to calm my fears and I was reassured that God is still at work. I found peace and everything started to make sense again.

When it looks like trouble is bursting out through the seams of your life, there is only one way to get it together. It is something that looks very silly to do but it works…seriously. Just rejoice in the Lord for everything. Here’s why- he is still God, the master planner, faithful and just, his promises are never changing, he has the power to keep your head up above troubled water and his joy is your strength. I found strength to get on with the rest of the year.

received_10205540882586864-01On Money – I had always wanted to do a student tutoring job in school but the way some of my naija folks kept asking me of when I will develop the tushed “phooneh” accent, I knew that my my students who were most likely going to be oyibo people will have a hard time understanding me. Since i would be having more time to myself, i decided to give the tutoring job a try. They did not give jobs to students on a leave of absence but God so kind, i got the job. Despite still feeling incapable to deliver, i went through the first day and it got better each time around till i was done.

If we base happiness on money then we will never be truly happy. If money will make our lives perfect then there will be no need to be more.

The pay was nothing to write home about but i was happy and fulfilled. Did i wish it paid more? YES! But everything is not about the money. If we base happiness on money then we will never be truly happy. If money will make our lives perfect then there will be no need to be more. Purpose is about being more as opposed to wanting more. There are lots of things one could do in this world to make too much money within a short while but in the end we are so poor that all we have is money. No true friendships, no life changing stories, unlovable personalities and no passions to pursue.

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On Happiness – I learnt not to base my happiness on things i could easily lose but on things i could give myself for. My kids were alive and active, their little smiles touched my core. My family seemed more adorable than i ever imagined. Thoughtful friends and loved ones to encourage and share a good laugh with, favors from strangers and to strangers who became a source of strength, made me smile. This is how we stay sane in a crazy world.

Blogging started to make sense again. I kept stumbling on inspiring stories of other people and it became clearer and clearer what I was supposed to be doing with this space. I wanted people to be happy with their lives regardless.

To be continued…

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