self love vs self care

Self love vs Self care || Where lies the balance|| Which can you benefit a little more from?

Sometime in June i happened to read from two different blogs on these very important concepts of self development. What is interesting about this was that just after reading my friend JessicaHugoInspire’s talk about self care the next post i read was from SuzyMarie on Selflove. So self love and self care are veryyy different?

In that moment it hit me…they are actually two different things. My thoughts started going wild. I realized that growing older made me less self love conscious and more self care conscious. I cannot say what transpired in between but i attribute much of it to Adulting.

As we grow older our circle increases and we encounter more external influences in our life and we must be careful how this changes us. This is when the your desire to put yourself first is constantly placed on the altar of sacrifice.

Self love is a personal self approval mindset without prejudice to external influences and interests Click To Tweet

Self love is Firstly all about you. No matter your perceived inadequacies you are the best you can ever be and you appreciate you.

Self love means that you are;

  • Not measuring yourself by the standards of the world but on how much better you did each time around,
  • Aware of your limitations and willing to work on it and perhaps, with it, because you know that therein lies value.
  • Accepting the things you can’t change, and carry on with life with an understanding that no matter your limitations, you visions and goals are worth fighting for.
What self love is - Don't settle for a life you will not be happy living. Click To Tweet

self love vs self careSelf love has got little to do with my size, skin color, where i live, my age, gender, faith or past. Self love means that irrespective of these statistics i have something on my inside that the world needs and should be guarded jealously.

Affirm this:

I must willingly let go of any ideas that inhibit me and learn to set my mind free.

It is about knowing that Loving myself comes from how all other things make me feel. Knowing that you cannot waste precious resources on people that make you love yourself less. 

Because of the you, you… mentality, we forget its about others too. Actually Self love is not just about you. I find this revelation interesting.


Self love is about;

  • Complimenting and supporting others rather than  being jealous or wishing to trade places.
  • Taking compliments from people and actually acknowledging them because You are worth being noticed, at the same time showing genuine interest in the well being of others.
  • Believing in your dreams, and visions and surrounding yourself with people that make you a better version of you just because their success push you to be better by providing healthy competition that allows you to thrive because love is at the center.
  • Having inner peace. Whether family members OR friends, trust me when it gets rough they will be there to cry with you and still see you through that phase onto the next.

Self love is a mind set. What is yours making you do?

What you have does not make you love yourself less but rather what you think you do not have - Ijeoma Ubaneche Click To Tweet

Self care on the other hand is about action. Action based on loved towards self.

Self care is about;

  • Attending to yourself by yourself with the mindset that you deserve to be treated like the goddess that you really are.
  • Spending time and resources to discover yourself, build yourself and nurture your God given potentials.
  • Scheduling breaks in advance and taking them, taking stock of your progress and engaging in mindfulness and Positive thinking.
  • Healthy eating, Skin care, Hair care, Manis and Pedis. Laughter and some more laughter. Its action  in relaxed mood.

Self-care gets even practical.

Choosing not to skip a meal over completing a task.

Choosing not to lose sleep over a lost business deal.

self love vs self careYour asset is anything that works for you and appreciates in value with time. Your most valuable asset is nothing material. It is not anyone in your life. Your most valuable asset is you. Everything is in your hands. Now, Remember the popular advert that asks “if you don’t take care of yourself who will?”

Strive to be irresistible, keeping mind,body and spirit as one. There is no you to improve on if you break down from being busy. Your honor is not in being busy, absolutely no honor in working  yourself to an early grave and leaving people behind in pain.

If you love them as much as you love yourself you will want to be around for much longer. 



Your life can benefit a little more from finding the balance always, as you make yourself priority, one day at a time. – Ijeoma Ubaneche

Self love is from within, self care from the external. Whatever you do, don’t sacrifice one for the other. Don’t be focusing on how your skin looks, when what you need is to believe in yourself a little more. Self love will allow you embrace your strengths and project yourself to heights the world never thought possible and set new boundaries. Self-care is about practicing Self-love. Hence, By caring for ourselves unapologetically we get into a deeper level of self love and become master of our own lives. 

self loveHave a great week guys


Call upon me and i will answer thee and i will show thee great and mighty things which you know not. Jer – 33 vs 3


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  1. Hey Ij, very insightful post you have here. Let me contribute by adding that self-love is your essence. It is connecting to yourself, validating yourself, it’s about your belief system towards you. Like you rightly put, your mindset. It’s about loving your ‘melanin’, your ‘blonde’ or your ‘dark kinky’ hair, it’s basically about loving and accepting yourself from within. You know that saying, no one can love you better than you love yourself?

    Categorically, you must love yourself first to be able to adequately take care of yourself. It’s difficult to practice self-care alone without loving yourself first. By showing yourself adequate self-care, you foster self-love. Self-love comes from within to manifest physically outwardly in the form of self-care.

    Both self-love and self-care are essential parts of our lives in the balance of the true essence of who we are.

    Now this comment is becoming too long. Let me come and be going.
    Thanks for this great post IJ, weldone!

    1. Author

      Hmmmmm….. preach on my dear. It’s allowed. You very well wrapped up this post. Thanks for your contribution ❤

    1. Author

      I am glad you found this interesting. They are indeed both very essential and must be made to supplement the other. Thank you for your lovely contribution Kathryn

    1. Author

      Hey Zinny, thanks for leaving me your thoughts 😊. I used to not think of them as distinct actually. It’s a pleasure sharing with you my dear reader❤

  2. Whao, this really spoke to me, I guess I’m not really there with self love yet. Nice post💚💖

    1. Author

      The good thing is that as one religiously practices self care we fall more inlove with our selves. Selflove grows continously with the right mindset. I am glad this spoke to you.

  3. This post was so eye opening. Thanks for sharing this very articulate post beautiful

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